(It's DARK. I mean, really pitch black. We hear stumbling around, some thuds, and muffled curses. Voices come out of the darkness.)
THE VILLAIN IN BLACK (TVIB): Whose stupid idea was this?
ROGER: Yours, I think.
(Thankfully it's so dark that ROGER can't see TVIB giving him *that* look.)
(From out of the darkness there's a creepy squeaking noise, kind of like the "Psycho" music.)
NOISE: eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee
BIG IAN (nervous): Wh-what's that?
JON: Don't worry guys, here's a...
(There's a click as the lights go on. A naked red bulb casts an eerie blood-like glow over a cold and bare room.)
JON: ...light switch.
(Close up on JON, BIG IAN, ROGER, and TVIB, looking suitably terrified. Sweat beads on their foreheads.)
(The only object in the room (apart from our heroes) is an old, rusting bed. IAN is bouncing up and down on the bed, with a big dopey grin on his face. It's the bed that's squeaking.)
BED: eee eee eee eee eee eee
IAN: This place is so cool, guys! Let's make the record here!
(FADE OUT. CAPTION READS: "THE DEEP PURPLE STORY. SEASON TWO. STARTS TOMORROW!")