VOICE-OVER GUY: Previously on THE DEEP PURPLE STORY
(Montage of images from the last episode, to remind people in case they forgot what's happening.)
(The band standing by the lake.)
JON: Well, here we are in Montreux!
IAN: On the Lake Geneva shoreline.
THE VILLAIN IN BLACK (TVIB): We're here to make a record. With a mobile recording studio. We haven't got much time!!!
(Cut to the crowded casino. Slow-motion view of the flare shooting into the ceiling.)
TVIB: Whoops.
(Cut to the band standing amid the billowing smoke of the devastated casino.)
JON: It's the end, guys!
TVIB: No!
VOICE-OVER GUY: And now, the thrilling conclusion to... THE DEEP PURPLE STORY
(Sweeping panoramic views of the Swiss Mountains as we hear:)
GUITAR: DERN DERN DERNNN
(Credits roll over the stock mountain footage:)
Written, directed, and produced by David Meadows
(The camera swoops in for aerial views of the empty, cold and bare GRAND HOTEL as we hear:)
GUITAR: DERN DERN DERN-DERNNN
(Cut to a shabby hotel room lit by some dim red bulbs. The band sits around on old beds as TVIB plays:)
TVIB PLAYING: DERN DERN DERN.... DERN DERN
(A few seconds' silence.)
BIG IAN: Yeah, very nice Rich, but it's a bitch to fit lyrics to.
TVIB: You're the singer, just write something you can sing!
BIG IAN: It's not that easy! I need inspiration!
(TVIB stand up and goes to the window, which is blocked by big wooden shutters.)
TVIB: There's your inspiration!
(TVIB throws the shutters open and we see... a big ol' snow-covered mountain. And a bird circling high overhead. (Fooled you, didn't I?))
BIG IAN (unimpressed): Emptiness, eagles and snow? I can't write a song about that! I might just as well write about the small furry mammals Rog keeps in his pockets!
ROGER (looking guilty): I do not!
(TVIB throws up his hands in despair and walks out.)
(ROGER walks in to the hotel's kitchen to find IAN cooking kippers and boiling eggs.)
IAN: Breakfast's up!
ROGER: Mmmm smoked kippers!
(ROGER crosses over to IAN.)
ROGER: Oh, no, you're doing that all wrong. Here's a trick my old mum taught me to keep them moist. If you have smoked kippers, you suspend them over the boiling water like so.
(ROGER demonstrates this bizarre cooking notion.)
ROGER: See? Smoked over water!
(ROGER suddenly stops and looks up, mind turning over.)
ROGER: Smoked over... nah.
(He goes back to cooking kippers.)
(ROGER enters the small, cramped Rolling Stones Mobile Recording Studio. JON is there, listing to a demo mix. He has a glass of water and a pack of cigarettes next to him.)
JON: Sit down and have a listen to this organ solo.
(ROGER sits next to JON, but he knocks the glass of water over. It soaks JON's cigarettes. They both jump up. ROGER mops at the spill with his handkerchief and JON snatches the cigarette packet off the desk.)
JON: Damn! Rog, man, you've got water on my smokes!
(ROGER suddenly stops and looks up, mind turning over.)
ROGER: Water on... nah.
(He goes back to mopping up water.)
(ROGER walks in to find BIG IAN sitting on a bed, gazing out of the window.)
ROGER: What's up, mate?
BIG IAN: Just looking at the casino. We should have been there now, not in this dump.
(ROGER moves over to the window, and the camera tracks with him so we can see outside. We see the smoking wreck of the casino. Smoke still drifts across the surface of the lake.)
ROGER: Yeah, but at least we made it out in one piece, eh?
IAN: Just look at the smoke in the sky.
(ROGER suddenly stops and looks up, mind turning over.)
ROGER: Smoke in... nah.
(It's ROGER's bedroom, but it's all dark. We dimly make out ROGER sleeping. Suddenly his eyes snap open and he sits up.)
ROGER: Smoke!
(He gropes for his cigarettes, lights one, and inhales deeply.)
ROGER: Ahhh... that's better. Now... what else...
(ROGER suddenly stops and looks up, mind turning over.)
ROGER: That's it! That's what's been bothering me all day!
(ROGER leaps out of bed.)
ROGER: I need to take a leak.
(ROGER stumbles out of the room, and we FADE OUT.)